My first STD was from a foam party
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
