At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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