i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
