Screwed.edu
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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