I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
