i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
