The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
