there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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