you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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