Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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