I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
