We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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