Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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