I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
