For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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