omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
