im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
