Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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