that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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