i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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