I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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