flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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