ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
