it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There r osticjed everywhere
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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