so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
