I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
