There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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