how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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