Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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