This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
