I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
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I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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