Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
