I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
