Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
