CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
