Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
