i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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