so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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