and she was petting her beer can
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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