Can i not drive my cunt home
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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