I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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