I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
