No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
