I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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