I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
