i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
