if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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