Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
