SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
