it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
