are you still at the devil's house?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
