I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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