So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
