Your mouth is God's brothel.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
