HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
