You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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