Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
