There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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