You're so nebulous sometimes
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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