Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
