why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
